The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I touched a dick in church today
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
