bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize