Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
