I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
