R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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