it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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