somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
