your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
