i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.