weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.