i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.