Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it