I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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