Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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