I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.