The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Green mimosas i think yes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo