At least make sure they are 18
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
pop tarts are not kleenex
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?