she looked like the before picture.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.