She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
