my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize