Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize