youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
