He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
