mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
