i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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