i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.