I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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