I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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