1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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