you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
