hotel room ftw
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.