i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed