it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.