Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.