I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
