we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Pooping to opera.
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