Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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