doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now