after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
