around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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