i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My liver just had a heart attack.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
