I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize