I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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