people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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