dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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