Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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