Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
smell my finger.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank