My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."