Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.

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(480): I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty. http://tfl.nu/9fyr

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(256): View more from Alabama

I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.

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(256): I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting. http://tfl.nu/bt6j

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(250): View more from British Columbia

are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...

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(250): are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning... http://tfl.nu/a14h

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(513): View more from Ohio

you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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(513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.

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(608): I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday. http://tfl.nu/an09

Replies (34) Good night (2324) Bad night (10773)
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(716): View more from New York

I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?

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(716): I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle? http://tfl.nu/vxb0

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.

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(703): I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve. http://tfl.nu/i1km

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(614): View more from Ohio

Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?

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(614): Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team? http://tfl.nu/idfg

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(402): View more from Nebraska

underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

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(402): underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not. http://tfl.nu/wyas

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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(636): I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college. http://tfl.nu/p6pv

Replies (5) Good night (1627) Bad night (751)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

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(662): As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/d15a

Replies (15) Good night (2175) Bad night (725)
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(661): View more from California

I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

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(661): I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore. http://tfl.nu/4rua

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(505): View more from New Mexico

She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.

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(505): She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max. http://tfl.nu/42dn

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.

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(505): Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit. http://tfl.nu/8do4

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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(215): There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell http://tfl.nu/i2t1

Replies (10) Good night (1476) Bad night (266)

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