um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize