anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize