3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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