Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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