I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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