I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
