Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize