You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
