Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
