I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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