I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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