would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
